INSIGHTS FOR GROWTH

Almost nobody listens. Most people wait. People can feel the difference — and they call the real thing presence.

There’s a moment in every leader’s development where the skill that got them promoted becomes the habit that holds them back. Having answers.

Understanding. This week we’ve explored listening, attention, curiosity, and silence. They all lead here: understanding.

We tend to associate leadership with talking. Setting direction. Giving speeches. Having answers. Filling the silence. But here’s a pattern I keep seeing: the leaders who talk the most in meetings usually have the least idea what their teams actually think.

Silence. We rush to fill it. It feels awkward. Uncomfortable. Like something’s missing. But in coaching, I’ve learned that the most important thing someone will tell you usually comes after the pause. Not during the conversation — after the silence you didn’t fill. Silence isn’t empty. It’s full of answers. What if you let the silence breathe?

Curiosity. When someone says something that doesn’t make sense to us, we have a choice. We can judge: “That’s wrong.” “They don’t get it.” “How can they think that?” Or we can get curious: “Help me understand.” “What am I missing?” “Tell me more.” One of the things running an executive team taught me: the moment you stop being curious about why someone sees it differently, you stop getting useful information. Curiosity opens doors that judgment keeps closed. What if you appro

Hearing is passive. It happens automatically. Listening is active. It's a choice. And most of us aren't doing it nearly as well as we think.

Attention. In a world of infinite distractions, attention has become scarce. Precious. Valuable. Attention is the rarest form of generosity. When you give someone your full attention — no phone, no glancing at email, no half-listening — you're giving them something most people rarely receive. And they notice. They always notice. Who could use more of your attention today?

Listening. It sounds simple. But most of us aren't doing it. Most people listen to respond, not to understand. While someone is talking, we're already formulating our reply. Planning our counterpoint. Waiting for our turn. Real listening is different. It's quieting your own thoughts. Letting go of your agenda. Becoming genuinely curious about what the other person means — not just what they're saying. It's rare. And people notice when you do it. What would change if you liste