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Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. Maya Angelou

This time of year is often when we reflect on the things we had hoped to accomplish during the year. Having a decade end has extended that reflection to the past 10 years. I don’t know about you, but the idea of looking back over the past year, much less the past 10 years, to second guess all my choices and actions doesn’t sound very appealing. It sounds like the perfect recipe for feeling bad and ending up in the fetal position in a dark corner of the closet. Not how I want to spend my day. We all make decisions continuously. Some we barely even think about and others we may agonize over for days or more. Everyone looks at the choices they have differently. Everyone makes their own decisions in their own way and in their own time. The danger is in second guessing yourself. If you start from a place that believes you’re doing the very best you can in every moment, then second guessing isn’t necessary. You may have made a different decision based on who you are now, but that wasn’t who you were then. Trust that you made the best choice that you could given all the information you had and who you were at that moment. And would you change it if you could? Changing even one decision would set your life on a different trajectory. Maybe something you look back on as negative would have been avoided, but what would you miss? What if changing that altered your life enough so that you didn’t meet a friend you have today? What if deciding to leave a job sooner than you did set you on a path that didn’t lead to the dream job you have today – or the one that is on the way? It’s easy to believe that by changing something that made us feel uncomfortable would instantly make our lives today better, but that isn’t how life works. All your decisions build upon one another to make the life you have. Change one thing and you could be changing everything. It’s great to have a plan for your life. A plan will help you live intentionally and give you a lens to make decisions through. Will going this way help me toward my goals or move me further away? A plan can give you that perspective. Looking back is also healthy when you do it with the intention of understanding how your life is unfolding. There is no need to judge, be ashamed or feel bad about what has already happened. It’s done, but if you look closely enough you will find a gift in nearly every situation that you feel was a disaster for you. Often something must be torn down so that something new can be built up. It may not be fun in the moment, but it is what’s true. The best things that have ever happened to me have made me uncomfortable when they were happening, but I wouldn’t change a single one. Let’s make this year different. If you want to look back at the last year or the last decade, look for all the moments that helped you get to where you are and be grateful for them. Where you are today may not be where you want to be, but you’re here. The foundation of an authentic life is being grateful for what you have. Be grateful for those perceived mistakes or embarrassing moments. Those disappointments where things didn’t turn out like you thought they would. The jobs you didn’t get or had to let go of. The relationships that didn’t work out or materialize at all. They are all gifts that helped get you here. As you turn your attention to what’s next, be gentle with yourself and remember that you’re doing the very best you can in this moment too. Just like you have in every moment before this one. Everything will work out, every time, no exceptions. It may not work out as you predict it will, but your life will unfold in the direction you send it. If you want to make changes, make a plan and ask for support if you need it. If there are things in your life that you don’t have time for and are important to you, put them first on your priority list and let go of the things that no longer serve you. Focus on right now, because now is the only time that matters. Most of all, give yourself the gift of trust. Trust in yourself and in the process of life. Life is going to move on no matter what we do, so let’s make the decision to enjoy the ride.

One is never afraid of the unknown. One is afraid of the known coming to an end. Jiddu Krishnamurti

Having nearly 30 years of experience working in and with organizations of all sizes, I’ve noticed that there is a universal disconnect between the ‘organization’ and the ‘individual’. The organization exists for a reason and so it has needs in a way. For some it may be to further a mission or cause and for others it may be to generate an acceptable rate of return. No matter the organization, these reasons for existing usually turn into strategies, goals and plans to help get to the desired results. Individuals are a different story. Each of us is wired in a way that is unique to us. The environments we have been in, the experiences we have had and even our genetics (and a lot of other things) all contribute to the person you are today. The person has needs that most of the time we’re not even conscious of. We have needs at home, with our friends, our environment and certainly at work. Maybe you have a strong need to be challenged at work, but at home your need for support is more important. Our needs may shift over time, but for many, our needs become hard-wired at an early age. Most of the choices you make throughout the day are based on those needs, whether you’re aware of them or not. And it’s in our nature to gravitate to people, things and work that will help us get closer to meeting our needs. Back to the organization. An organization has its need. Add to those the people who make the decisions within an organization to help those needs get met. Each of them has their own set of needs that will drive their decision-making processes as they craft the strategies, goals and plans for the organization. Broaden that to every individual in the organization and you could have hundreds or thousands of people all making choices continuously that are driven by their own needs. And without awareness and intention, you will choose your needs over the organization’s every time. So how does any organization ever manage to get anything accomplished? I define a truly successful organization as one where both organizational and individual needs are known and understood – and intentional work is done toward meetings those needs. By understanding what an organization needs, you can build a team of people who have needs which will support and complement both what the organization needs and each other.  This starts with awareness and should start with the leaders and managers who make the strategic plans and decisions. When this group is highly effective, each member of the teams is aware of their own needs and how they make decisions, and they’re aware of the same for the other members of the team. When we can make decisions as a team from a place of awareness, we can not only navigate, but we can harness the power of individual needs to better serve the organization. Gaining awareness and understand of needs will set in motion powerful shifts in the way people think and act. This awareness should come from an objective source so that everyone is coming from the same perspective. Having individuals guess at what their needs are never works. We’d all like to think we’re self-aware enough to do it, but our perspective is always through the lens of inside looking out. Nor do we have enough information to determine another person’s needs. Objective information comes from the outside and should be rooted in research and psychology.  There are a variety of different instruments out there that can help you get solid data that you can turn into powerful understanding leading to awareness. Then the work begins to use that awareness to make intentional decisions – every day. Imagine your team working together from a place of understanding and conscious decision making. Imagine an environment where individuals thrived because their needs were understood and appreciated. Imagine the powerful shift your organization and people would experience.

No one save us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. Buddha

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot

"The preset moment is all you ever have." Eckhart Tolle

The last of the holiday gifts are opened, the leftovers from the family feast are put away and the day is finally slowing down. Another Christmas Day is winding down. Whether you spent time with friends or family or enjoyed your own company, holidays can be a stressful time for many of us. The weeks and days leading up are filled with preparations and when things are over it can be a difficult time for some. The inertia of anticipation and excitement (and probably a bit of anxiety) that carried us through all that we had to do suddenly has nowhere to go, and we can be left feeling down and even depressed. Some will deal with that post-holiday slump by diving into the ‘holiday reset’. Get all the decorations neatly put away and start the run up to New Year’s Eve. Keeping busy can be an effective way to numb ourselves to those feeling we would rather not feel. Plus, there’s the bonus of erasing all signs of this holiday and pushing on to the next. If we just keep moving, everything will be okay. That can work for a while, but eventually the feeling that something is missing will catch up with you. It’s far too easy to rush through our lives without ever really living. We’ve gotten good at checking things off our to do list, and the sense of accomplishment we feel in doing that is very real. What’s missing is what happens along the way to that check mark, all the moments of our lives that we rush through to get to a time when things will be perfect. Then we can be happy. If you’re fortunate enough to have little kids around you, you get a glimpse into what life could be like. When we’re young, we aren’t worrying about what comes next. We’re caught up in the magic of the moment we’re in. Somewhere along the way, we forget how to really be present. I was able to see this today while playing with my 3-year old nephew. For hours (and I do mean hours) he reveled in playing with his front loader and filling up his dump truck with puzzle pieces. After the last piece went in, he laughed and clapped and then dumped the truck out and did it all over again. He was just as excited on the 10th load as he was on the first, and he wanted me right there with him while he did it. At first, I was full of suggestions on how we could load the truck faster, spill less pieces and all the other things adults do to make fun, well, not fun. He wasn’t having any of it. He knew what he was doing, and he didn’t care if pieces went flying or fell on the floor. He was having a blast, and it didn’t have to be efficient or have a purpose. It just had to be fun. And you know what, it was. No phones, no Netflix, no distractions. Nothing but a front loader, a dump truck, a pile of puzzle pieces and a whole lot of laughing and clapping (and maybe a cookie break or two). When we take the time to slow down and experience those little moments in our lives, we get to have a life rather than preparing for one we think we will eventually get to. We discover that the little things are the ones that matter most...doing things that may not have a purpose beyond laughing and being with the ones we love. Those are the perfect moments you’ve been waiting for. So, before you rush into what’s next, stop and take a moment to slow down, breathe and just be where you are. Enjoy this moment, because it will never come again, and it will be what you make of it. Whatever you thought you needed to do next can wait. Load the dump truck a few more times. Laugh with your family and friends and be present. That perfect moment you’re rushing toward could be the one you’re in right now.

Today marks the returning of the light. Starting today, each day will be a little brighter with the passing of the winter solstice. For thousands of years people have recognized and celebrated this special time of year. Like so many of our traditions, it is a comforting reminder that everything has rhythm. Just as the light ebbs and then flows, so does everything in life. Today is a reminder that no matter how long the night, the light always returns. For me, this is a time of reflection and a reminder that life is cyclical. Everything changes and that’s a good thing. We are meant to learn and grow as we make our way through life. As I look toward 2020, I am excited for what’s coming, no matter what it is. Here are a few intentions I take with me into whatever comes next. Accomplish what is important. It’s easy to get sucked into all the demands people put on our lives. What’s tough is to have the courage to say ‘yes’ to what’s important and ‘no’ to what isn’t. Disappointing people doesn’t feel good but disappointing yourself is worse. Live what’s true. We are not what other people think of us. While it may be great to get ‘likes’ on your latest Facebook post, that doesn’t define you. Sometimes our lives are amazing and at others, devastating. Be comfortable being you, no matter what anyone may think. Make a difference. We all have an impact on the people around us. The things we say and do matter. So do the things we don’t say or do. Choosing kindness over cruelty, compassion over apathy and being aware of our impact will make all the difference in the lives we touch. Make room for people. Life is moving at a dizzying pace. Choose to slow down and make space in your life for the people who matter most to you. Choose a phone call over a text. Have coffee and a conversation, with your phone turned off. Give the most valuable thing you have to the people who mean the most to you – your time and attention. Listen to your heart. We all have in internal guidance system that tells us when we’re on track. Maybe it’s that little voice in the back of your head that gets lost under the crashing noise of life. Get quiet and listen to your inner wisdom. It will always be there when we slow down enough to listen. It will always be true. We are all lucky enough to have the gift of a fresh start in every moment of our lives. We may not always get to choose what happens, but we always get to choose what we do next. What will you choose?