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What's holding you back?

Resistance is futile. We Star Trek fans all know what that means, and that in the end resistance was the way to go! But what about when resistance shows up in our lives? I haven’t met a person yet who wasn’t experiencing resistance in some way in their lives. I think of it as the beliefs, ideas, thoughts, things etc. that get in the way of us really living the lives we want. They hold us in place, sometimes only for a few moments and sometimes for a lifetime. They prevent us from fully becoming all that we were meant to be.

When I think of resistance in my own life, more examples than I care to admit spring to mind, along with the tactics I’ve developed to skillfully keep that resistance in place. I can avoid having a tough conversation with the best. If there is something big, but scary, that I want to accomplish, I can find a thousand small and insignificant things to fill up my time so that there isn’t anything left for the stuff that really matters to me. I can bob and weave like a prizefighter, never winning, but never truly risking getting hurt either.

Sound familiar? It should, because we all do it. Not all in the same ways or to the same degree, but it’s part of being human. We’re wired to gravitate toward safety and security over risk and uncertainty. It wasn’t all that long ago, that this instinct was necessary to survive. But we live in a different time now and have more options and choices to make than ever before and it’s only accelerating. Yet so often, we choose ‘just okay’ or even ‘sucky’ rather than stepping outside of our comfort zone. We hone our resistance tactics because they are our defense against being vulnerable, feeling uncomfortable or potentially losing what we already have.

While those instincts can serve us, they can also block us from having the things we want out of life. Learning to recognize our own reactions and behaviors unlocks awareness. From there we can learn the skills we need to sit with the discomfort and make different choices to move through the resistance and into what comes next. It can be a challenging process. It can force you to question beliefs you’ve held about yourself and your limitations. I can disrupt your life when your behaviors and actions evolve as you move beyond the person you were and toward the person you want to become. It can be overwhelming, frightening and even heartbreaking.

But beyond all of that is the life and person you want. It’s a place where you become not a better version of you, but a more authentic one. Your life begins to flow with more ease as you learn to recognize and work through resistance in the moment. As it becomes a practice you will see your life unfold in ways you didn’t believe were possible. Your life becomes the joyful adventure that it was always mean to be. Doesn’t that sound like the life you should have?


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