What They Carry Out of the Room

What you meant is the starting point. How you landed is what they carry out of the room.

Most of us grade ourselves on intent. We meant to be direct, so we were direct. We meant to be helpful, so we were helpful. The people on the other side of the table are not grading intent. They are living with the impact, and they rarely tell you when the 2 do not match.

That is why the gap between intention and impact is so hard to close. The only data that would close it is sitting with someone else, and you have to ask for it.

So ask. After the next meeting that mattered, find one person who was in it and say: how did I come across in there? Then do not explain and do not defend. Just write down what they say.

The answer may surprise you. That is the whole point.

The Right Altitude. Available now. www.therightaltitudebook.com/the-book