What It Really Means to Show Up

Showing up isn't the same as being present.

You can attend every meeting and still be absent. You can be in the room and a thousand miles away. You can nod along while your mind races through your to-do list.

We've all done it. And we've all felt it from others.

Here's the problem: people can tell. Your team knows when you're checked out. Your direct reports sense when you're just going through the motions. Your peers notice when you're physically there but mentally elsewhere.

And it costs you. In trust. In influence. In impact.

What does it actually mean to show up?

It means bringing your full attention — not your distracted, fragmented attention, but the kind of focus that makes people feel genuinely heard.

It means being curious instead of certain. Asking questions instead of waiting for your turn to talk.

It means being willing to be changed by the conversation — not just going through the motions.

One executive I coach realized that her team had stopped bringing her problems. Not because there weren't any — but because she'd developed a habit of glancing at her phone during conversations. The message was clear, even though she never said it: you don't have my full attention.

When she committed to putting away her phone and making eye contact, everything shifted. Not because of a grand leadership initiative. Just presence.

Here's what most people miss: presence isn't a personality trait. It's a practice. A choice you make, conversation by conversation, meeting by meeting.

And it might be the highest-leverage leadership skill you can develop.

Think about your last few meetings. Were you fully there — or just attending?