The Wrong Lens

The wrong lens.

I coached an engineering leader who’d spent her career in direct, transparent cultures. Say what you mean. Disagree openly. Nobody takes it personally.

Then she moved to a company where the game was completely different. People agreed in the meeting and disagreed in the hallway. Feedback went to your manager behind your back.

Her boss asked: “How’s your relationship with Raj?” She answered at face value. It never occurred to her that the question itself was the signal.

She told me: “My brain had to adapt. It was incapable of seeing what was actually happening.”

The story you tell yourself about how the world works is the lens through which you see everything. If that lens is calibrated for the wrong environment, you’ll misread every signal.

What signals might you be missing?